#1 Overall Pick: The Indianapolis Colts Select QB Andrew Luck
As expected, the Colts will select Andrew Luck with the first overall pick in the draft. Rumors have it that they have some of seret facility where they are planning to integrate Peyton Manning's cells into Luck's body, creating a pseudo-Manning that will lead them to future success .If only they hadn't cut all of their good receivers and tight ends…
#2 Overall Pick: The Washington Redskins Select Robert Griffin III
Also as expected, the Redskins will select RGIII with the second overall pick and he may very well be the QB of the future. However, Josh Morgan will probably fail the training camp physical and Pierre Garcon will probably lose his desire to play football and become a waiter at Chèz Whitey, leaving the Redskins without wide receivers.
#3 Overall Pick: The Minnesota Vikings Select OT Matt Kalil
With the third overall pick, the Vikings will pick up another offensive tackle to block for Adrian Peterson (Oh yeah, and that Christian Ponder guy too). Rumors are flying around that they are pursuing former high school WR Terrance Knighton in order to convert him to wide receiver, allowing the offense to seal off those edges. Then again, he might take the phrase "eating up defenders" a bit too seriously.
#4 Overall Pick: The Cleveland Browns Select Lebron James
It's quite obvious that the city of Cleveland misses Lebron, so the Browns, desperate for competent pass catchers, will draft Lebron as a 6'8 tight end. I'm sure that the Browns would draw more of a crowd to see him play. Just don't pass it to him when the clock only has one non-zero digit, he might toss the ball right back.
#5 Overall Pick: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Select CB Janoris Jenkins
With Aqib Talib facing hard time, the Bucs will want to bring in another "bad boy" at CB. Jenkins, who often ran afoul of the law at Florda, but has big time talent. If nothing else, he could deck any receiver who dares to try and catch a ball in his territory in the face. Heck, whe Talib comes back, it could truly become a "lights out" defense.
#6 Overall Pick: The St. Louis Rams Select TE Coby Fleener
It's pretty obvious that the Rams are going after a pass catcher for QB Sam Bradford.but they also need to give him some extra protection in the pocket. Therefore, they will select coby Fleener who will give them the best of both worlds. Plus, I'm sure he has enough experience dealing with overhyped QBs.
#7 Overall Pick : The Jacksonville Jaguars Select WR Jordan White
Ths selection from Western Michigan fits Gene Smith's small school mentality (although exaggerated). He had more catches, yards, and YPC than Justin Blackmon and only one less touchdown with 17.Despite putting up monster numbers, one could probably imagine the backlash and chaos that would ensue down here in the First Coast. Who says Jacksonville is a boring city?
#8 Overall Pick: The Miami Dolphins Select QB Dan Marino
As my father would surely attest, the Dolphins are a mess. Since Marino retired after the 1999 season, the Dolphins have been looking for a suitable replacement ever since. Nothing says success like Jay Fiedler, Daunte Culpepper, Ray Lucas, Trent Green, Cleo Lemon, and Joey Harrington. I'm pretty sure Dan could outperform those guys even though he is over 50.
#9 Overall Pick: The Carolina Panthers Select RB/WR Chris Rainey
Since the Panthers seem to have so much success with shorter receivers, they'll take a flyer on the speedy Chris Rainey out of Florida. He could definitely be an asset in the wildcat formations and he could be a kick returner and wide receiver. However, his most important job will be to hold up Cam Newton's cape when he changes into his Superman costume. Those things are deadly you know.
#10 Overall Pick: The Buffalo Bills Select J.J. Di Luigi
I can't resist a good Mario and Luigi reference. It's too bad I couldn't find a Bowser in the draft, but at least I found a Yoshi! I guess we know who they're going to pick in the second round.Tags: Andrew Luck, Christian Ponder, Football, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville, Jacksonville Jaguars, Jaguars, Josh Morgan, Matt Kalil, Minnesota Vikings, NFL, Peyton Manning, Pierre Garcon, Robert Griffin III, Washington Redskins